the monster in the drawer of memories
I opened the 'hidden forbidden holy-ground' of my room;
the drawer of memories.And the monster came out lashing on me.
Because the first photo frame I saw was,
well,
the bitch and I, smiling with flowers of red and pink and purple.After I did my usual bitching whenever I thought of her;
I said to her(picture);
'You know what? I ain't the darned old me anymore. I've changed.'
And I know, I'm not the same
my life You've changed
everything is different
everything so different Lord
And in You, I place my hope
I want to be with You
I want to be with You!
Sweet Dreams
I dreamt of 3 dreams ytd.
1st dream - i dreamt of my crush but i dont rmb what happened after that. WASTED
2nd dream - I kena H1N1 and I am on running as a fugitive -.-
3rd dream - totally dont remember..
I wanna more of those first dreams..
This few nights I'm having far too many nightmares..
Anyway the below song is damn sick.
SICK
Sweet Dreams - BeyonceYou can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't to wake up from you
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love is too good to be true
P.S. This song reminds me of...Somebody =/
Tell the world that He lives again :
Tell the world that Jesus lives
Tell the world that, tell the world that
Tell the world that He died for them
Tell the world that He lives again
c'mon c'mon we'll tell the world about You
tell the world that,
tell the world that,
about You!
P.S. Tell the world that Jesus lives!
Mad Rush
Just wanna share something here.
Imagine you are alongside macritchie's running track;
to left are the foliage, the right is the rushing of cars on the expressway.
The Lord says, "The world is in such a mad rush, why you rushing instead of waiting for my timing? Let's do it together, wait for my timing, I will see you through personally. For you are my favoured child, the apple of my eye."
Friends,
as you all see here, God is asking for us to wait upon His timing,
NOT on our humanly, imperfect timing.
We are like the rushing of cars on the expressway;
we rush like no tomorrow due to the nature of the world that we are living in,
we are rushing upon God's timing;
be it BG-R wise,
or be it money wise,
be it whatever that we can think of,
we are trying to accomplish things using OUR own strength.
but the above story is a dream that is told to me through a friend.
and I believe God has told this to me for me to really reflect and wait upon His timing.
Father Lord I thank you for the vision that You sent to me,
that we should do things WITH You than with our own, inferior strength.
Your timing is perfect for You are our Lord God that created us in the first place in Your image,
and I put my faith in You for Your timing to come, and I will follow You instead of the world,
that's always in a mad rush.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Joseph : The King of Dreams
Well, I was checking up on Joseph(Genesis 37-50) for my HopeSem assignment,
and in my endeavours, I found a cartoon regarding him; Joseph : The King of Dreams.
Please see this webbie for more information.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph:_King_of_Dreams
I really like Joseph as a character.
I first bumped into him in tuesday's quiz which asked,
'List down 5 lessons that we may learn from Joseph's life. (Genesis 37-50)'
I was thinking, ' OH SHIT. I never read till Joseph. GG.'
But the point is,
Joseph is a very good role model for me.
For those readers who are not familiar with him,
he's the 11th son of Jacob aka the man who wrestled with God(Israel).
And he's the favourite of Jacob, which incurred the jealousy of his brothers,
and they got rid of him by selling him to a slave trader.
Soon after,
he was bought by the pharaoh's officer,
Pontiphar; and he's seen as exceptionally talented among the other slaves.
So he is treated specially just as he was in his family.
However,
the official's wife tempted him into sexual temptation and although he did resist,
the former accused him of rape and was thrown into the prison for what he did not do.
But despite all of this troubles(and mind you, this is only the first part of his story),
he never once complained,
and this only shows that God is with us through ALL hardships and He is forever with us.
God really favoured Joseph.
I am envious man, and so fascinated in his life.
People, you should really watch this show. (Utube have the full set, just type the title in)
I bet that you will learn something in this 'animated biblical account'!
Amen and praise the Lord!
P.S. Thank you Lord for the amazing grace You had given us, free of charge..
Christians are not supposed to be keepers of the aquarium. They are supposed to be fishers of men.
My God! This article owned me!
Go see!
Now I can understand how and what's your life like in the past;
how it's like when you reach home at 11 plus;
how tiring it is when you finally put down your bag and still have to talk with me;
half doing your work, half doing your stuffs.The more I experience what you called
'a busy life',
the more I understand how amazingly patient you were with me,when you'd bothered to talk to me even when you're damn tired and need to focus on work,
but you would patiently talk with me till the point when you want to sleep.. The more I understand what fatigue you were feeling then,
the more I felt how
wonderfully imperfect that you are.
And the more I thought about it,
I know that, then, I was just a damn kid that keeps saying that I love you but never knowing what love was.Just that it's already a wee bit too late to really let you know that i am different..
Maybe no one else remembers,
and you probably had forgotten,
but on last year's today,
this is the first time you officially 'ditched' me.
Not that you are now '
with' me now anyway.
Never mind la.
P.S. He still has a plan, I'm sure of it.
Question
To:
anyone who read this post;
why does Jacob recieve all of his spoils despite him using trickery to gain it?
(Genesis 25:19 - 27:40)and pray for me so that I won't be too fat to dance a couple of weeks later -.-
P.S. first time scared to hell at work..
'Love', Part I
(Some details are bathed in whites. Highlight the page so that you can see them.)
Whenever I try to advise someone else nowadays
I always hold back on what I want to say (or what I CAN say)
specifically biblical principles from non-believers.
And that made me think back.
Whenever we used to quarrel on stupid matters,
Were you holding back then, like the way I do, now?
Whenever you kept quiet
Whenever you told me you had nothing else to say
Whenever I continued to say real stupid things
Whenever I continued to desecrate your faith
I remember I once asked you this(somewhere in December 08, don’t rmb alr) :
“
If one day you were reduced to a mere beggar in the streets,
Will your ‘god’ come and save you then? Will he throw down food from the sky?”
And you told me: ‘
Yes, He will. I believe.’
I remembered I kept dead silent.
I was fumed.
I thought it was just so you, so damn stupid and naïve..
How can human beings live on faith alone or something that isn’t even tangible?
Or even VISIBLE to the damn eye?
A couple of months later,
It was Valentine’s.
The ‘sacred festival’ of love with my ‘sacred beloved’.
The one that meant my world to me then.
I asked for your hand.
But you turned me down.
BIGGGGGGG wonder.
Saddened.
Broken.
Destroyed.
Devastated.
‘I am a Christian but you aren’t.’
What a generic answer.
But you didn’t explain.
Silence again.
For there was one void between us: God.
I was with the world – You are with the Almighty.
Then, we were 2 different people.
Totally, completely, wholly.
I was praying that night,
And you caught me doing that.
I still remembered how you taught me to pray properly and respectfully.
I wanted God to save me then, and He did.
He sent me home safely.
He sent me an angel waiting for me.
He sent me a message of appreciation from you.
He sent me most of all, amazing grace.
The next day,
Ephraim came to share Christ.
Then I was crying in bed.
Because all I had in mind was you, you and you.But I always thought that this gap that really separates us,
It isn’t something that I could close up myself.
But God can.
So I decided to gave Him and myself a chance,
and I crossed the line of faith on 15 Feb 2009.
It was all because of you, back then, I admit.
I didn’t feel all ‘godly’ after I received the most powerful being on earth.
And I began to complain.
I only wanted the explanation to your answer.
So that one day, I can tell you,
‘I am a Christian now, now give me a chance.’
But no.
Love doesn’t work that way.
This 4 months in Christ is the biggest change I ever experienced in my life.
Love wasn’t the equal of lust.
God’s manifestation in this world IS love.
The most powerful force on the heavens and earth.
I always loved
1 Corinthians 13:4, as it’s the first Bible verse I ever heard,
And it came from you.
‘Love is patient love is kind.’
And I never knew then that these 6 words would change my life forever.
God’s grace is so powerful.
He decides to give me a chance,
a desecrater of His Word,
in the form of overwhelming grace.
Grace.
I only recently discovered how powerful that is.
I remembered you said about how you won the top-honors for your GB 2nd Company,
you credited it all as ‘God’s grace’ and every girl present was praying for favour.
He sent me you,
an angel disguised in human casing,
to let me know there’s this Jesus,
in this world surrounded by lies and hurts.
4 months is coming to in a week.
The me now isn’t what you once knew.
I can’t say that I no longer think of you,
since you are always on the top of my prayer list, always.
I live by faith that He’s gonna show the way.
Maybe He’s gonna bring me back to you one day.
And even if He don’t,
God still has a plan.
And I know that I can’t see it,
I know that He can.
His greatest grace and love for me,
a worthless sinner,
is the ability to re-learn love,
into the way that He loves us : unconditional loving.
I’m not ashamed to say that I came church because of a girl.
For because of this wrong point of motivation,
I am having a completely different life.
And it ended up because of a single word, ‘Love’.
Excerpt from I Kissed Dating Goodbye:
‘True love isn’t just displayed through an intimate kiss or a loving embrace,
for it’s explained in self control, patience, and even words being left unsaid.”
And yes,
though I really love you still,
it’s better if it’s left unsaid to you.
'For real love is all about learning how to give' .
Amen.
P.S. Je t'aime.
Happy (Spiritual)Birthday to me
Yay! I am three months old(spiritually)!
Wooo song bo!
Well I am really touched by the CG when they do such surprises for me.
I.WAS.REALLY.STUNNED.
When they put a cake on the table and 'happy birthday-ed',
I sang along, only with a 'happy birthday to zhongsheng' :S
Really need to thank God for today;
I was really feeling dry from thursday onwards,
so before we sang praise to the Lord,
I gave my cries to the Lord,
'Oh God I am really feeling no-mood here. Could I please have a refill?'
And He answered me promptly,
via the sermon that was given to us was,
about 'rising above our fears'.
I know I am actually afraid of sharing the gospel because I am afraid of rejection.
But nonono.
You actually don't need anything else to share.
You have the faith and the belief in God, and He will provide you with everything.
F-O-C one.
But I am actually really proud of the gospel.
It might really be news that are 'too-good-to-be-true'.
But God's presence in my life is really undeniable now.
That this change in me is really God's light shining in me so that I could get out of the maze inside me.
For He sees at the bird's eye view while I see only what's in front of me.
So I will submit to Your guidance, for it's the only one true way.
He's the good shepherd and I shall not be in want.
Ephraim planted the seed, I watered the plant, but it was God that made it grow!
Praise the Lord.
Lastly, thank you guys for the book, 'I kissed dating goodbye'.
Yea, I think I'll really need it. LOL
意思浅浅.
P.S Then again I don't really know why girls NEED to have r/s(esp.Y-O-U) anyways.
Tell me what makes a man, so that I can get over you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62UOySLtR94Any other girl, I'd let you walk away
Any other girl, I'm sure I'd be ok
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So I can get over you
Other girls will come along, they always do
But what's the point when all I ever want is you, tell me
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So I can get over you
P.S I swear I won't cry, even as tears fill my eyes..
Zhongsheng's defense for his beloved memories
Nobody can step on my memories
For no mortal can understand my mind.
My memories are mine and sacred
and it's a private secret between me and the Lord.
So quit trying to speculate
because you can never comprehend.
For you are not the one that walked thru this emotional hell
all alone.
.P.S. No one can step on my sacred memories and get away with it!
woohoo!
So 30 mins of nap(on the table) is sufficient enough to make me feel refreshed..
(now i understand why do you ALWAYS like to fall asleep on the table..)And the promise of dance a few weeks later makes me even more high!
(God please please give me the perseverance to slim down because I don't want to be too heavy to dance) Going back to hardcore exercise days already.
No more beef steak.
No more Mac.
No more KFC.
No more lunch.
More gym.
More jogs.
More weight lifting.
More milk.
More protein.
More stretching!
Let's prepare for dance!
WOOHOOHOO!!
p.s. I WANT TO SLEEP!
The Lord's magic trick
Chalet was fun.
Good, rare quality time with the peeps.
Just that I was practically reduced to a walking zombie due to multiple 18-hrs days.
This week,
God has been too real in my life for me to dismiss things as a mere coincidence.
Impossible man.
Especially this weekend's service. WTH MAN.
So there I was at 6th floor preparing and decorating my card for the testimony later,
and I was minding my own business and chatting away, other than 1 fact that is particularly bothering me.
There was this guy, who is basically a splitting image of the bitch's bf,
I was kinda annoyed/disturbed by his presence,
not for the first time alr,
then jf was walking in front of me,
then the guy was beside me.
Jf was talking to the guy, then after we climbed the stairs,
the guy came forward and introduced himself to me.
I was like, the hell?
So zhun meh?
Got so zhun de meh?
Then when we were at backstage,
then this girl who kinda reminded me of the bitch was standing in front of me,
then I was, man God, what are you doing?
But,
the most fascinating thing was,
when it was finally my turn,
I kinda feel so 'THANK GOD' cause I can walk in twos(which my partner was su quan)
instead of one which will make me so paiseh,
AND I TELL YOU THE SONG IS SO NICE THAT I KEPT HUMMING IN WHEN I WENT BACK TO THE CHALET.
but when I was flipping my chart,
I saw someone waving to me.
And I was so BLOODY POSITIVE THAT IT WAS THE BITCH.
100%.
Zarraphina Michael Zane.
Then I was stunned. Literally.
I was thinking, "The hell? That's a lie!"My mind was instantly flooded by her name and her face,
and the next thing I know, we already can leave the stage le.
And afterwards when we returned to our seats,
as usual, we began praising the Lord in worship as the service draws to a close.
I sang with deepest fervor and at the top of my voice.
I literally cried.
I know God have amazing ways of making me smile even when I'm in the deepest abyss.
And I praised God with all my heart, soul and mind.
And I began praying for you,
I know your attachment is starting and you don't like to be alone in any circumstances.
I know you are going alone but God's with you.
So I prayed for you that things are gonna go well and you're just gonna be fine.
I know you're worried over GDOP's dance.
But I know that you're gonna participate and succeed cause I have faith in you.
So I prayed for you that the dance's gonna be a blast because you WILL particpate in it.
After the service I just rushed down the seats,
even forgetting my testimony card,
to the place where I thought I saw her.
Nope. No sign of her. No Zane anywhere. Too bad.And after I told Cheryl the story,
she'd say,
"I also thought why were you displaying that stunned face on stage?"
Praise the Lord,
You always know what it takes to bump up the day.P.S my prayer for you in love is that everything shall go fine for you in your new environment.
